“ I’m fine.” – Mental Fitness
2. I don’t have the energy to tell you what I need right now because I don’t think you’ll hear me, it will just make things worse, or I just want to keep the peace.
The trouble with these beliefs are that they fall trap into assuming, avoiding, or martyrdom.
So how do we overcome this “I’m fine” avoidance-resentment tendency?
First off, it’s recognizing “I’m fine” as a trigger word. This phrase should trigger in your head a dispute process that sounds something like this:
Am I really fine or am I avoiding?
Will keeping the peace now lead to later resentment?
If the answer to these question is “yes,” it doesn’t mean you have to talk right then, but it does mean it’s worth expressing your truth. Examples can sound like…
“I’m actually a bit frustrated right now, but not quite ready to talk about it.”
“I’m actually not sure how I feel, but if you don’t mind giving me some time to process things, we’ll talk later after I collect my thoughts.”
Or, you can talk about it then. Examples here include…
“Actually from my perspective…”
“To be honest, I’m feeling…”
In conclusion, people who fear expressing themselves often do so because they’re afraid the other person will be hurt, angry, or leave. However, to not express these feelings leads to undertones of anger which can be even more harmful in the long run.
Communication in relationships is hard at times, but I hope this tip can help!
