Why I Stop Hiding: My First 2 Weeks Of Transformation | by Milos Cejovic

I blamed myself for their divorce since I was 15, up until I was in mid 20s. It was a long process to understand that it was not me who was a reason for their divorce.

But even after that, I continued to hate myself, treating myself and my body as a garbage dump (weed, tobacco, energy drinks, garbage food, impulsive buying in the middle of the night, doing bad stuff, doing illegal stuff, hanging out with really bad people).

I was running from myself, hiding in relationships since I was 18 up until I turned 30. I gave myself, my heart and my soul to wrong girls (mostly). My last relationship lasted for 7 years, and I ended it 3–4 years ago.

I was running from myself, giving others a permission to lead me blindly… that is very sad and painful when I read and think about it…

“Old Me” never had a chance of survival, never had a bright future…

I flattened “Old Me” as a picture. I put my “Old Me” picture into a frame, and I placed a frame in glass showcase in main hall in my mind. That picture is a reminder for me. That picture is now a subject of analyzing. Going deep into my old life is very important for me to learn about my Shadow and my Anima.

I always wanted to share REAL ME with the World.

I was always hidden behind pseudonyms.

I’ve had one Medium profile with pseudonym since 2018 and that profile is banned 2 years ago (I posted a lot of affiliate links without mentioning that, I promoted cryptocurrencies, etc). Totally not giving a fuck about the system on Medium (like in life). Sorry Medium. Now I’ve read all rules about writing on Medium.

I created a new profile right after that (Mike Neal). It was called Marketing With Mike at first. Then I called it Mike Neal.

I am still writing on that profile, but I will change the name to “Marketing With Milos”.

No more hiding. No more tripping of what people will say. No more tripping from people who just sit, watch Netflix, playing victims and running from themselves, and not even trying to work on themselves, visiting latest shopping malls, with 8€ Starbucks coffee in their hands, taking a selfie with their 5 years old shoes, dirty, with a thumb popped-out.

I was scared of people opinions. I was scared of what if someone from my country find my name and my blog on Serbian so they can see real me.

I was hiding behind English language, because 98% of people that I know don’t know English at all (can you notice a stupidity in this?).

Now, I know that even if my articles touch 40 million people around the World and my voice reach to Serbia about me, only 5% of them would actually translate what I am writing… Even “exposed”, they will continue to judge, to make fun of me without actually want to understand me and to translate it to Serbian language, because general thinking in Serbia is that English language was created in USA, and not around in the middle of 4th century in today’s United Kingdome after Roman Empire left the land.

I am talking about general population who just followed what older people told them because USA bombarded Serbia in 1999. I was 7 when bombardment happened.

I always feared of being called out as “smart-ass, know-it-all, and who the fuck are you to know and understand all things but You only have middle school diploma, and only 3rd degree diploma, not 4th degree? Who the fuck are you when you grow up as we all do? Who the fuck are you to act smart because you never achieved anything; you don’t have a Ferrari, a huge villa on Dedinje and similar materialistic stuff? Get back over here and work as we do!!! You are not better then us!!!”.

Classic “Crab Mentality”.

I grew up in that first, second and third dimension of people (and somehow I realized there are 33 dimensions, and every level is certain awareness, consciousness, pain, emotional blockage…). It can be any number, maybe it’s level 7 that is highest level, but for me 33 is playing the story.

I got exact number from Universe, 33.

Right now I am living in lowest levels of existence. That’s because of running from myself, and running directly into a hug of demons and devils.

Following wrong people (demons and devils), allowing them to shape me because all bad stuff already happened to me and I believed that’s my destiny. Everyone around me “singed” the same song over and over and over again, every fucking single day since I was like 10 years old.

Yesterday I realized that number 33 have a really powerful meaning.

I am 33 years old now.

Many people told me that when you turn 33 it’s a time of physical maturity meeting with spiritual awakening. It’s a time when everything goes downhill or uphill.