Why Empathy Fails Against Bullies

“Be empathic.” “Show some empathy.” You’ve probably heard these sayings before, and if you’re like me and are bullied in school, you probably feel guilty because you can’t do that. But don’t worry—today, I’ll tell you why empathy isn’t the best solution to dealing with bullies, and it’ll make you feel less guilty.

1- You’re not their punching bag:

The first thing you should know is that you’re a human who is bullied, not a punching bag the bullies use to be less angry, and to forget their psychological traumas. You must always defend yourself without any feeling of regret because it’s your right to do this, you can’t just let people simply bullying you without trying to do anything, because as a said before in one of my articles: “School won’t always save you”, let me give you a personal example: One of the bullies in my school lost their father and teachers always told them to be empathic with him and make him a good person. Excuse me, I’m not going to be responsible for a bully, I’m a human, not a thing he’ll use to make himself less angry, so please listen to me and don’t be a punching bag.

2- The world doesn’t revolve around them:

Listen, Most bullies are people who had a bad childhood or traumas from the past, but guess what? It’s not your problem, and they aren’t the center of the world, and they’ll have to deal with their problem even if it’s not their fault, but in the end, it’s their responsibility, not yours. So, when you hear your teachers tell you and your mates to show some empathy to bullies, and you’re one of their victims, don’t try to be empathic with them because their past isn’t a justification to do what they want, and when you start to feel guilty, remember two things: first: they aren’t the centre of the world and second: It’s not your problem.

3- They probably won’t care:

One of the reasons that made me think that Empathy isn’t a solution is the ingratitude you’ll get from bullies. Think of it: Bullies are some insensitive and nasty people who want to make you a clown in your class, and the last thing they’ll thank you for is to show any kind of emotions for them, because probably they think emotions are a sign of weakness, and in the end you’ll waste two important things: Time and energy, and you’ll also regret that you tried to be empathic with them which will make you hate them more than you hated them before, So my advice is to don’t do this because it won’t worth the efforts, and believe me, you’ll regret it as soon as you see their reaction.

Finally, I know all that I said will be hard to do, but believe me, you’ll thank yourself and me because you listened to these pieces of advice, and I hope that this article made you feel less guilty and realise that not all problems can be solved with empathy.

Bye.