Unwritten but Never Forgotten. Letting go someone I never even held. | by Hope Fitriannisa | Jul, 2025

It’s strange how silence doesn’t come all at once. We meet everyday, we fall in the same space, it’s like a shadows walking the same path but is never overlapping. How he treats me isn’t like how he used to, the silence, the gap, now I feel like a paused movie waiting to be watched again. It wasn’t a fight, it wasn’t closure either. It was just silence, creeping slowly creating a space between us. I thought I’d be okay with that, convincing myself he was just a brief moment in my life. But some people just stay etched in your mind.

Sometimes I’d see him appear on my screen, an instagram post, an update of him with his friend, something casual and harmless. And yet it never felt casual to me. Every glimpse of his face brings back all the memories at once. My heart doesn’t ask permission, it just remembers. It remembers the way he reassured me when I needed it, the silent glances in the hallway. He has always been so kind to me, so kind that I let myself imagine a version of us that didn’t end before it began. But reality has its way of pushing my imaginations aside. And so, we became what we are now. But after all this time, I wish it didn’t turn out this way.

Maybe I’m not in love with him anymore, maybe I never really was. Maybe all I loved was the idea of him or the idea of being seen for once. But I can’t lie to myself. A small part of me wonders what would it be like if we met again and talked like we used to, what if I told him how I felt before silence pulled us apart, what if we could build something from the blocks we never had the chance to use.

I know he has probably moved on, I have too. I’ve grown, I’ve learned, I lived my life. But I can’t deny that his memory still lives somewhere in me. I find myself reliving all the moments we spent together, hoping he cares enough to remember it too.

He was never mine, but I will always remember him.