The Silent Burden of Excellence (How I Learned to Separate My Worth From My Achievements) | by Rose Rwegasira | Aug, 2025

I grew up believing that excellence was my only option. It wasn’t just encouraged — it was demanded. For years, I carried the weight of perfection on my back, afraid that one mistake would shatter everything. This is my story of breaking free from the silent burden of expectations and finding a way to succeed on my own terms..

In my home, education was not a choice; it was a duty. My father, a man who believed deeply in the power of knowledge, often reminded us that education was the one thing no one could take away.

“You must work twice as hard,” he would say, “because as a girl, the world will test you.”

My mother, echoed this in her own way. She expected me to learn, to excel, and to embody the values that defined a “good girl.”

At school, the expectations followed me like a shadow. I was a straight-A student — nothing less was acceptable. There were years I scored a perfect 100 average, and the pressure only intensified. The world saw me as brilliant, disciplined, and destined for success. But inside, I knew the truth: there was no room for failure, no space for mistakes.

I wasn’t just studying for myself; I was carrying the weight of my parents’ sacrifices, their dreams, their belief that education would secure my future. Disappointing them was not an option.

But what happens when expectations leave no room for imperfection?

I became a trophy in a glass case.

Untouched. Admired. Unheard.

People clapped when I got it right,
but no one noticed when I started forgetting what I wanted.
They asked for results,
but never asked how I was holding up.
They assumed I was fine —
because I made it look easy.

But performance is not peace.
Achievement is not healing.
And excellence without compassion
is just another form of survival.