THE PRAYER WE OFTEN FORGET TO PRAY | by Insomniac diary | Nov, 2025
THE PRAYER WE OFTEN FORGET TO PRAY
I used to be surrounded by people I gave my whole heart to — my love, my care, my energy.
But when it came to receiving even the bare minimum back, most of them failed… and when I say “most,” I’m being generous.
When I found Jesus, I began praying daily.
So anytime someone hurt me, my automatic prayer was:
“Lord, please change their heart. Fix them. Heal them. Make them better so we can finally have peace.”
Sometimes it worked — but only when that person was truly ready to change.
Other times, it got worse.
Because once I tasted God’s peace — the kind the world cannot give — the chaos I used to tolerate became unbearable.
Before, my heart was also in chaos, so their behavior matched what was already inside me.
But once Jesus gave me His peace, losing it felt like a personal earthquake.
Like I finally had something precious to lose — and I was tired of being dragged back into the version of me that God had already healed.
One day, after exhausting myself emotionally trying to “save” everyone around me, I broke.
And I prayed a different kind of prayer — a surrender:
“God, if this person is not willing to change, then heal me.
Heal my reactions, my nervous system, my triggers.
Because I don’t want to lose myself every time they lose control.”
That night, I had a dream.
Something was being removed from me — snails coming out from the back of my neck.
I physically felt one of them, especially the red one, being pulled out.
And when I woke up, I could still feel the exact spot where it was removed.
God didn’t change them — He healed the part of me that kept reacting to them.
It was as if He whispered:
“I’m not freeing you from them first —
I’m freeing you from the part of you that kept giving them access to your peace.”
And here’s the truth God showed me:
Sometimes, the real bondage is not the person…
It’s the wound inside you that responds to them.
Once God heals that part, you stop reacting from trauma, fear, abandonment, or the need to be loved.
You start responding from identity, peace, and clarity.
And suddenly, you see more clearly than ever:
So many of us stayed with people who never deserved the fear of losing them —
not because they were irreplaceable,
but because our wound was.
God is healing that wound.
He is teaching us to protect our peace, not beg for it.
And the moment He removes what was eating you from the inside, you rise different.
You still feel love… but you no longer lose yourself to keep it.
CONCLUSION: The Shift That Changes Everything
If there’s one thing I learned, it’s this:
Most of us keep praying for God to change the person who hurts us,
when sometimes the first miracle we actually need
is for God to change the part of us that keeps accepting that hurt as normal.
Healing doesn’t always begin with the other person apologizing, transforming, or finally understanding us.
Sometimes healing begins when God restores the version of you that existed before the pain.
Because when your inner world is healed:
• You stop confusing chaos for chemistry
• You stop negotiating your self-worth for crumbs of affection
• You stop praying “Lord, make them love me right” and start praying “Lord, make me whole so I don’t settle for less than You wrote for me”
If this resonates with you, here’s one thing you can start today:
Instead of praying:
“Lord, change them so I can have peace,”
Pray:
“Lord, heal me so their behavior no longer has the power to steal my peace.”
You will be shocked at how quickly your life begins to shift —
because when God heals the root inside you, the fruit around you must change.
Your story will not end where the hurt began.
God is rewriting it — starting with you
