The Day I Learned to Say No. Sometimes, saying “no” isn’t about… | by Black cat | Oct, 2025

One day, I got an interview call. We had already agreed on a schedule.
But suddenly, before that day came, they texted me again, asking me to come in within 20 minutes.
Not to leave in 20 minutes, but to be there.

With the distance I had to travel, it was clearly impossible.
So I said I couldn’t make it — politely and professionally.

A few moments later, they replied again.
They told me to come after lunch instead, in a short message that sounded more like an order than an invitation or a negotiation.
But since we had already made a deal for another day, so unfortunately, I declined that.

At that moment, I felt something.
My hands were shaking — I knew it wasn’t fear, but I didn’t know what it was.
It just… felt unfamiliar, like a quiet storm inside me.

I asked someone, then he told me,

“You’re not shaking because you’re scared.
You’re shaking because you just stood up for yourself.
Because you just said no to something you used to force yourself to say yes to.
That trembling means you’re alive.
It means you’re brave.
It means you’re breaking free from the old trauma that used to silence you and now, you’re finally fighting back.”

When I read that, it hit me.
Because all my life, I’ve always said yes to things I didn’t want.
Always obedient. Always quiet, even when it hurt.
Enduring it, even when I was being looked down on.
Because I thought that was how to keep things “safe.”

But the truth?
The one who got hurt was me.
The one who got stepped on was me.
The one who held her breath every night — was also me

And now, I’m done being that girl.

Some people might see it as something small, something ordinary, something not worth to mentioning.
but for me, it wasn’t.
It was a part of me — the part that’s been longing to speak up
And finally, I did.

That day, I didn’t just say “no” to that HR.
That day, I also said “no” to every version of myself — who once believed she wasn’t worthy enough to choose, not strong enough to refuse, and not important enough to be heard.

That moment, I chose myself.
That moment, I learned what it truly means to love myself — not through words, but through boundaries.