Silence That Never Comes: Living with an Eating Disorder | by rachelyuma | Aug, 2025

To anyone experiencing this-we can get rid of it.
I can assure you that recovery is possible.

The moment-our body starts healing.
Immediate panic attack-because hell, will I gain weight?
As a person who survived this-after your mind heals too, you will look at all this experience in a different way.

It is possible to see a living person in yourself, rather than a weak soul that “gave up” because you ate a meal.

To see and enjoy opportunities to go out, to travel, to experience each part of our existence.

To make our lives more than just calorie counting, feeling like a freak for eating breakfast, or wanting to die after looking in the mirror.

Living is not about calories, or always thinking only about looks and food.
Food provides us life.

That we can live-or lose-with disorders.

I chose living-and I truly recommend it to everyone out there.
I’m not 24/7 productive-I often do nothing but read a few pages of silly fanfictions or watch a few minutes of a movie per day.
I draw because I like to, not because I’m a master at it.
But I’m alive.
Because I focused on getting back to living-fighting off the voices in my head.

And now-I have genuine satisfaction from winning.
Sure, I relapse-but every moment of my experience is worth it.
Because I wouldn’t be here if I had stayed in that cage years ago.

You can do the same.
How to start? Just be.
Do something else than what your mind tells you to-trust me. It’s already enough.

Not immediately, no rush.
Small things can help you get your life back.
Try it.