People-Pleaser. Why Not Everyone Has to Like You | by Adam Gauthier | Sep, 2025

Sixth Grade Swag

In sixth grade, I started to feel more social, and a few girls began to like me.

It was around the time Justin Bieber became popular, and I strategically got the same haircut as him to increase my chances with the ladies.

And hey, it worked. I was never super popular with girls before, but a few in my class showed interest in me that year.

There was even a new girl in our grade who had just moved here from a different school. She introduced me to her friends from her old school; they liked me, too.

Demon Child

But of course, there was one girl in my class who just fuckin’ hated me.

I actually had a crush on her for the past two years, but she never reciprocated my feelings, so I was kind of over her.

It seemed like whatever I did, she would criticize or make fun of me. I remember talking to my female friends in the bus one day about how desperate I was for her approval.

Eventually, she and I smoothed things out and became friends. I actually realized that she now had a crush on me, and for whatever reason, I wasn’t into her anymore.

Get to the Point

The point of that story isn’t to show that everyone who dislikes you secretly wants you, but rather to show my mistake of placing too much weight on someone else’s opinion of me.

Obviously, it’s a great quality to be kind and respectful to everyone, but not many people can say that everyone likes them.

If you’re being yourself and have strong values, there will always be someone who disagrees with your point of view.

That doesn’t make either of you bad people; rather, I view it as a challenge to not put my self-worth in someone else’s hands.

Everyone has had the experience of really liking someone and not having them like you back, or perhaps trying to get along with a coworker with whom you just don’t share the same personality type or values.

I think the key here is to learn to be okay with your differences. Treat everyone with respect, even if they don’t give you the same courtesy.

There’s always a time and place to advocate for yourself, but generally, unless someone is being directly mean to you, it’s fine to go your own way.

The Lesson I Learned

In terms of my experience with the angry schoolgirl, I shouldn’t have let her behavior shake me as much as it did.

Obviously, I was eleven, and didn’t have the same knowledge of psychology or experience with people that I do now.

These days, if I meet someone who’s not interested in me, I try to view it as a lack of compatibility rather than an evaluation of my worth.

Not everyone has to like you — and that’s the freedom that makes authenticity possible.