NOT TIRED. NOT LAZY. NOT OKAY. Your ‘lazy friend’ might just be dying… | by Sara Shaikh | Aug, 2025

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Beep. It’s 4 AM.
He drags himself out of bed, rubs the sleep from his eyes, and opens his notebook. At 6, he’s in class again, same seat, same pen, same tired eyes. He’s been preparing for this test for weeks. The results? Average.
Last time, he promised himself he’d work harder. This time, he doesn’t promise anything. He just goes home, listens to his mother’s lecture, and stays quiet.
Not hurt. Not angry. Just… gone.
I wonder how a boy so cheerful, always laughing with friends, could disappear into silence.

“Ma’am, your child is depressed.”
“No, ma’am. Just exam pressure. He’ll be fine.”

We often neglect these symptoms, wrapping them in softer words.
We call it shyness.
We call it introversion.
We call it “just an excuse” for not performing well.
But depression, isolation, and social withdrawal are not quirks of personality; they’re warning signs. Left ignored, they can grow into disorders like bipolar, ADHD, OCD, or schizophrenia. And the danger is not that we don’t see them. The danger is that we see them… and choose another name.

At first, it’s barely noticeable. A missed text. A skipped meal. A little less laughter.
For some, it looks like excessive working, burying themselves in books or office tasks.
For others, it’s mindless scrolling, sleeping too much, daydreaming, or disappearing into music.
On the surface, it’s harmless. But when the distraction fades, the guilt creeps in. The perfectionism whispers.
And suddenly, they’re not just tired, they’re convinced they’ve failed before they’ve even begun.

When they finally ask for help, the world doesn’t listen- it labels.
Quiet? “Just shy.”
Not performing? “Lazy.”
Opening up about their struggles? “Everyone’s stressed. You’ll be fine.”
These aren’t answers. They’re dismissal wrapped in polite words.
And each one teaches the same dangerous lesson: Don’t speak up next time.

Now this person, ignored by everyone and stamped with labels like “difficult” or “too much,” starts believing the script. Self-esteem tanks. Trust issues take root. Friendships fade not because they don’t care anymore, but because showing up feels impossible. And when your world shrinks like that, you’re left alone with your thoughts, and that’s when it gets dangerous. Because loneliness isn’t just sad-vibes-on-a-Sunday-night. It’s a breeding ground for bigger storms. The kind of stuff people love to talk about in hashtags but avoid in real life.
It might not be the boy in class. It might be your colleague, your sister, or your roommate. Or maybe you. Look closer. Don’t rename what you see.

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