My community center on a Wednesday afternoon: witnessing others lifts me up | by Aliya P. Springs

Right now I am sitting down. I just finished walking for 40 minutes at my local community center indoor track. I walked slower than my usual pace. Getting into motion usually helps me get to a better frame of mind, and today was no exception.

If you’ve read my ‘about me’ biography, I’m about to have a baby, my first baby. I’m pregnant and now, I finally look pregnant. It took about 30 weeks to get to a size and shape where strangers look at me and smile. This is great and beautiful and all, but honestly, I don’t like it.

I don’t like looking pregnant. Honestly, I don’t like being pregnant. It just feels weird and I’m ready to get it over with. It’s been a sobering example of how hard it can be to be human. Of course, I’m trying to be patient because I want my baby to have her full time to develop. Just because something is natural and healthy, doesn’t mean it’s fun.

Since I’m a person who tries to orient toward the positive, pregnancy has put me to work. Pregnancy is not an instagram feed or Pinterest page. It’s also not as bad as what Reddit has to say. It’s mostly boring and slow, ugly and smelly.

A word of advice I wish I had sooner: ignore the internet all together if you’re pregnant.

Anyways, being around others, particularly the elderly at the community center, helps me see the light. Seeing kind faces, overhearing their stories, feeling their presence and love of life are positive. August and air conditioning go well together, but besides that fact, my community center has been a great place for my mental health during pregnancy for all sorts of reasons.

I feel in quiet camaraderie with these old folks. Even though we’re of different points in life, I feel connected to them. In being in their presence I can sense with my body, what they’ve gone through to move them to this ripe stage of life. None of them breezed by unscathed to make it here.

Yet they did make it here.

Not everyone has the privilege of aging. And as a great reminder for me, not everyone has the privilege of being healthily pregnant. The old people at the community center are as eager and punchy as ever. Bright-eyed and hoofing it right alongside me on the track, they urged me to pick up my pace.

This is who I want to be. I want to be the fast-walker 80 year old lady, chatting with her friends she made in her later years. I want to live life, all of it. It’s so easy to be floating through life, glued to a lonely little phone. It’s so easy to just move along without growth, just boring stagnation year after year. I see many people, young and old who never live, they just exist. I choose to grow and embrace change, even if it sucks for a while. The result of growth is worth it.

Being in a poopy mood about being pregnant is lifted when I remember all of this. I am here. I said yes to life. I put my big girl pants on and jumped into the deep end. I am doing life to the fullest. Literally choosing life and choosing to learn and grow in ways no other act could.

Is there anyone out there who gets down on themself when they’re facing a challenging chapter in life? You’re not alone.

What helped you shift perspective, even if briefly? Who did you witness that helped you remember your strength?

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