Months of Self-Isolation. Last year was the first time that I… | by ogun | Oct, 2025

Last year was the first time that I started living by myself. I rent a room a few kilometers from campus. It’s affordable, but if I were to complain, it’s like living in an oven. I have two fans, and sometimes it still feels like the Saharan Desert. In the first few months, I used to sweat when I woke up; now I don’t sweat as often. The internet connection is also something not to boast about. I had moments when I almost screamed because I needed to complete an assignment, but I couldn’t upload it in time.

Lastly, I couldn’t scream; I can’t be a loudmouth here unless I want to anger sixteen other people on this floor, since the wall is so thin. I had to use earphones to sleep because the guy next door is somehow singing in a concert at 11 pm.

But I still think it is worth it, because that is all the price I had to pay for freedom.

I no longer need to wake up early since the campus is now so close. I can hang out with my friends longer at night. Not only that, but I can ride by myself at midnight without worrying about my parents. It felt great; everything felt great. I have tasted the privilege of becoming an adult, well, at least the good part of being an adult.

But it’s not all fun and dandy; since my sleep schedule is fucked up, I got sicker, and I had to take care of myself.

Every guy knows this feeling, where you feel invincible because you can take a flying bamboo to the face or fall down the stairs and take it like a champ, but as soon as you get a cold or fever, you suddenly have the urge to write your will. Well, it happened to me a few times.

You might think by now, “So what do you mean by the title? It seems to me like you’re not isolating yourself.” And you’d be right by technicality.

It happened just a few months back. I no longer have classes, but I need to take an internship and start researching for my thesis. Just like everybody else, it took me hundreds of applications and a few interviews to finally land an internship. I finally had the chance to take a 3-month internship at a media company.

But that’s not what happened; just one week before starting, I rejected the offer.

It was the most impulsive and rash decision that I could ever make.

Why?

I don’t know.

It was a few months ago when it happened, and I still don’t know why I made the decision.

It’s not like it’s my first job. I had a sales job a few years back, I also had a part-time job, I joined the student org, and took on a few events as a volunteer.

I really don’t know what came to me.

When I told my parents about it, they struggled to understand me. I don’t blame them, I don’t even understand myself.

That decision took a toll on me; I felt great embarrassment and isolated myself in my room. Since that time, I haven’t gone out to meet friends, and I barely go to campus anymore. It’s been months since.

Throughout that time, the only human interaction I had was with store clerks.

When my friends asked me to hang out, I declined. I fill my days, scrolling through YouTube, watching history content, some streamer drama, and a lot of game walkthroughs.

But why am I suddenly writing something?

It’s because I learned something through this solitude.

I learned that this is unhealthy, and we humans really need social interactions.

“Duh, this took you months to learn?” Yeah-yeah, I know, I’m a slow learner.

But through this “endeavor”, I started to take my social interaction more seriously. I realized that when I hang out with the boys, we are always on our phones.

After isolating myself, I hung out with the guys and sincerely asked and genuinely took an interest in what they’ve been up to. That time, I didn’t check my phone for a single time.

But I still don’t know the answer to why I made the decision to reject my internship. I guess it’s not the time for me to understand it.

A single step toward betterment is always good.