Maladapative Day Dreaming- A Silent Trap | by Anjaliwriteswellness

How many of us day dream? The answer would be a lot, like every person on the planet day dreams.

We all imagine little things in our heads: what if we said that clever comeback, what if life turned out differently, what if we were the main character? That’s normal. But then there is maladaptive daydreaming.

“Everyone daydreams. It’s harmless, even comforting — until it becomes a trap you can’t escape.”

WHAT IS MALADAPTIVE DAYDREAMING?

Maladaptive daydreaming is when you while listening to songs, music or watching a movie you imagine scenarios in your head. So, you instead of living in the moment you basically stay in your imaginary world/bubble.

Maladaptive daydreaming isn’t just zoning out for a few minutes. It’s an intense form of daydreaming that can consume hours, pulling you away from reality.

It starts with small things or scenarios but if not monitored can become a very bad habit.

HOW IT STARTED FOR ME.

At first, it was innocent fun. But slowly those scenes became bigger, longer, more detailed. And during the Covid lockdown, it spiraled.

Time used to slip away in an instant. Morning turned into night without me realizing. I’d tell myself “Tomorrow I’ll stop” — but tomorrow never came. Even motivational videos couldn’t break the cycle.

It’s was like I was setting new records of how much I am disconnected from my own life.I had reached a point where I prioritized or gave importance to made up character not real version of myself.

And I have been doing it till now and I have come to realise just how much of big problem it has become. I lost connection to my reality and also time used to go by like a snap of a finger I wouldn’t know when it was nighttime. I have WASTED MY DAYS like they were NOTHING .

It is 2025 and still I haven’t overcome or stopped it.

This is just a gist of my experience. This caused me stress and pressure as I wasn’t doing the work I was supposed to do on time, and the continuous cycle made took up a lot of time.

And hence I was getting farther away from myself- The real me who lived in real world and had her own goals and dreams. This made me more isolated and self-sabotaging and also I used to punish myself for doing this by not letting me enjoy, or be happy, and if something bad happened I would say “I deserved it.”

I lost touch with reality
I wasted days that could’ve been spent learning, connecting, or creating.

I missed out on living my own life, because I was too busy living an imaginary one.

It hurts to admit this, but being honest is the first step.

Of course all the problems weren’t caused by maladaptive daydreaming there are other underlying causes which lead to maladaptive daydreaming- It was a coping mechanism used by my younger self for her little moments of happiness, or feeling like there are people who care about her.

WHY IS IT SO HARD TO BREAK AND TEMPTING TO DO!

You know the feeling you get when you watch a movie or series, you get immersed in that world you connect to the character and the perfect image of it all; and for some time you are disconnected from the (your)reality, the problems and the imperfections of (your) life.

And when it ends you feel the high about it for like sometime and then it is back to the reality, where it is not PERFECT and sorry to say but you are not the center of the universe. The story doesn’t revolve around you, instead this story has multiple main characters, multiple stories and multiple stages and conflicts and struggles and a lot of it.

So, this is where Maladaptive daydreaming enters and offers us a life or should I say Illusion of that ‘PERFECT’ life we always think or want. and the reason I highlight the word ‘perfect’ all the time is that is one of the main reasons I have struggled, I am a PERFECTIONIST, and that has made my life difficult and the reason was my unrealistic or too (perfect) high of expectations.

Maladaptive daydreaming gives you:

Escape from stress, boredom, or sadness.

Control over scenarios when real life feels messy.
Comfort because in your head, everything is perfect.

But the cost is huge: reality passes by, and you’re left behind.

WHY struggle and stress yourself from the problems you are facing or when you are trying to achieve your goals or dreams when you can imagine a version of yourself or the character who has it all and without much struggle too.

Here is where instead of trying to achieve your goals and make plans you use that time for the daydreaming. And you start losing chunks of time within a snap of finger.

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