i think i have a problem with patience | by Melodione

In my 27, I realize something about myself:
I keep getting tested in one area — patience.

I don’t know why, but I’ve always been that kind of person who wants everything fast. Immediate. Done. If you ask me what drives me crazy the most, it’s waiting. And somehow, in the last five years, the years I was forced to grow up, life keeps giving me lessons about patience. Over and over again.

Let’s start from the basics.
Because I live alone, I have to handle everything myself, from hospital visits to small errands. And since I use government insurance, of course, patience is mandatory. You can’t survive the hospital queue system without it. Three hours waiting for the doctor? Another hour for the medicine? Yup, normal.

Then, the online motorcycle ride thing.
Maybe I’m crazy (well, I think I am), but every time I order one, I expect it to arrive right now. Like, immediately. Five minutes of waiting already feels like forever.

Or the noisy boarding house neighbors.
Every place I live in, there’s always one or two people who don’t understand the concept of “quiet hours.” At first, I tried to be patient. I wore my headset, tried not to be that annoying neighbor who complains too much.
But one night, I lost it. I screamed. Literally. Because they were too loud and too inconsiderate. And you know what? I didn’t even regret it that much.

Then there’s work.
Ah yes, the endless patience you need when you’re stuck in a place that constantly makes you question, “Why am I even here?”

And restaurants.
When I order something and it takes too long, my brain instantly goes: Did they forget about me? Especially when the table that ordered after me already gets their food. I’ll politely ask, “Excuse me, mine hasn’t come yet?” multiple times.

On one hand, I’m proud that I’ve become more patient now (I THINK).
On the other, I still wish I could be that calm, nonchalant person who just shrugs things off easily. But I know I’d probably be the annoying one then, the one who complains too much.

The funny thing is, every time I pray, “God, please give me patience,”
He doesn’t just give me patience… He gives me situations that test it.

I guess that’s how it works.
And honestly? I truly admire people who seem genuinely patient.
Though sometimes, I wonder… maybe they’re just like me, pretending to be calm while screaming inside.

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