I Spent Years Trying to Prove Everyone Wrong… and Lost Myself Instead | by Half way to myself | Aug, 2025
When I was a kid, I wanted to be a vet.
Animals were my world.
I wanted to help them, protect them, stand up for what couldn’t stand up for itself.
But I wasn’t the smartest kid.
I’ve got Asperger’s.
I was always a step behind.
Mrs. Vaughn, my teacher, used to tell me,
“The world made you special for a reason.”
I clung to that.
But the reason never showed up.
After school, I went to college for animal management.
I loved it finally doing what I dreamed of.
But there was a rain cloud over my parade.
My ex was there.
And she was with one of those weird types. older, with a car and a career
the kind of guy who had no business being with a 16 year old.
I tried to play it cool.
But inside, I felt invisible.
That summer, I promised myself I wouldn’t go back the same.
So I got a labouring job.
At first it was sound – me and the guy had a laugh.
Then I slipped up once.
I owned it.
Instead of showing me, he snapped.
Called me a retard.
Told me I was shit.
Said he was cutting me loose by the end of the week.
One mistake, and I was worthless.
That’s how it felt.
One minute sound, the next minute a dickhead.
Back at college, my ex was still smashing life.
Always smiling.
And me?
I was dragging myself through it, already behind.
Then she broke up with him.
And I thought, this is it.
We rode the bus home together.
Talked the whole way.
She told me I was doing well.
Said I was smashing college.
It meant everything.
I apologised for being jealous, insecure.
I asked to hang out tomorrow.
She said yes.
That night she texted:
Bad idea.
Didn’t want to lead me on.
We’d never get back together.
And just like that, my chest caved in.
Why doesn’t anyone want me?
Why can’t I be someone’s favourite?
Not long after, a mate showed me a way to make money without a job.
I was nervous, but I tried it.
And it worked.
Cash in my pocket.
Finally, something that felt good.
I told myself, this is the life hack.
A few years of this, I’ll make moves, prove everyone wrong.
But a few years became a lot more.
While everyone else built real lives – jobs, families, futures —
I was stuck.
Always close to leaving it behind,
always sucked back in.
From the outside, it looked like progress.
Inside, it was just a loop.
Square one.
And the cruelest part?
I was already living my dream.
Working with animals.
Doing what I’d wanted since I was a kid.
But I was so obsessed with proving everyone else wrong,
I forgot how to make myself right.
