I Opened Up to My Inner self. I don’t remember exactly how old I was… | by Mysoul_notes | Oct, 2025

I don’t remember exactly how old I was, but I still remember that day as clearly as the sun of those summer afternoons.

I lived with my grandfather, grandmother, father, mother, my little sister, and my newborn brother — six years younger than me. From the outside, we were a perfect happy family. But inside, things weren’t always as perfect as they looked.

That day, my mother asked me to cook a vegetable. She said, “The one who doesn’t know how to cook will never find a good house to marry.”

I didn’t even know what marriage was, but I believed her.

I was always in the kitchen with my mother, watching her cook, so I thought I knew enough. I was full of confidence, proud to prove that I could do it too.

I made the vegetable — but instead of masala, I put two big spoonfuls of besar (turmeric). I didn’t even realize it. When my grandmother saw the food, her face changed. She scolded my mother, and then my mother turned to me with anger I didn’t understand.

She started hitting me — as if I had done something unforgivable.

I remember the sting on my face, the shock in my heart. I was crying, trying to say, “I didn’t mean to. I didn’t know.” But the words never came out — only tears did.

No one told me it was okay to make mistakes. No one told me learning takes time. I was just a little girl who mixed up spices and got punished for it like she had committed a crime.

Now, I am twenty-five.

And still, that day haunts me.

I’ve never told anyone about it — not because it’s too big, but because people think it’s too small. They’re all busy surviving their own pain. But today, I’m writing this for that little girl in me — the one who cried over a mistake she didn’t understand.

I want to tell her:

You didn’t do anything wrong, my love.

The people around you weren’t mature enough to understand that a child only learns when she’s taught gently, not when she’s punished harshly.

You deserved kindness. You deserved patience.

You deserved the world.

And now — you are safe.

No one can hurt you for a mistake anymore.

You’re free, and you’ll never be the same little girl again.