I have never had a fracture…. But this year I got an injury which… | by Isha Sharma

But this year I got an injury which derailed my life. Here’s what nobody tells you about physical setbacks :

They’re BRUTAL. Let’s just get this straight. “Oh you’ll be fine atleast it’s not a fracture,” I know that, but what I didn’t know is that recovery is never a breeze. The mental toll is takes on you to cancel your plans, to say no over and over again until you’re counted out by default, to see people socialize and do daily tasks which for you have suddenly become an uphill battle, to carefully craft every move every posture, to feel so “broken”.

What I DIDN’T know was bone bruises keep you awake all night, twisting and tossing and popping painkillers praying for the night to pass, that your knee throbs like a pump every time you as much as sit, or stand, or just simply get nervous. That on the outside it looks just fine, but the inflammation eats your bone inside and flares even after months.

“ How did you even get it?” that was the biggest question of my life, even I didn’t know the answer of. I didn’t know. There was no specific event, no point of time I could recall. All I knew was I was trying to stay fit, run occasionally on treadmills, long walks when suddenly my knee started feeling unusual and I figured it was fine. And I played some cricket, some basketball cuz interbatch you know, and it just gave up on me after that. But I soon figured people like clear things, uncomplicated things, SHORT things. So I made up an answer shorter than an insta reel.

I suffer from mammoth levels of hesitation to ask for help, or show vulnerability, so this time was otherworldly torture. I wouldn’t EVER step out in shorts lest someone sees my brace, I would lie about the pain, I wouldn’t sit in wards because everyone was standing EVEN IF there were chairs available. I still remember being awake the night before I visited the doctor and not telling my parents even once (and just hitting them with the reports on WhatsApp).

Nobody tells you how lonely it gets sometimes, feeling stuck, knowing you have to bear all of it alone, especially if you’re away from home.

But don’t be me.

Allow yourself to be helped by the people who care for you. Don’t blame yourself for all the things you could not be in, do, experience. It’s alright to accept that you’re not fine. It’s alright to be vulnerable.

What’s not alright?