I am Sorry, But I Choose Me. The Battle in My Mind | by Raise.Up | Oct, 2025

I may walk slower than others, but I know and feel that I am moving.

I know it. It hurts, it really hurts, when the pain comes from a place that should feel safe. I know they want the best for me, but what works for them does not always apply to me. Somehow, I feel I’m built differently.

There’s no point in trying to legitimize something others don’t understand or feel. Today, I felt truly happy. I accomplished many little things. I could feel it in every part of me, the rush of dopamine, even amidst a dynamic, hectic workflow. New ideas sparked in my mind, so many that I don’t even know where to start — but in a good way. I’m learning to take them slowly.

It’s easy to accept what others wrongly think about me, but I feel pity for myself, realizing that I am the one who truly holds the power to accept it or not. I know myself. I may seem slow to others, but I know what I’ve done, and that’s what matters.

I’ve noticed I often rush to reply to people’s messages, barely paying attention. Maybe it’s because my mind is always generating ideas, always “on,” and I often lose focus. It’s actually difficult for me to ignore messages, especially when people wrongly think about me. I know what to do. I exactly know (at least, I’m trying).

I just need your trust.

The deeper truth is, I love others more than I love myself. I feel this constant urge to fulfill everyone else’s needs before my own, without even thinking twice about what I want or need.

I want to learn to listen — not just with my mind, but with my heart.

I trust you, myself. It’s okay to pause for a moment. It doesn’t mean you don’t care. It means you’re protecting yourself, giving yourself space, and choosing you again… and again.