Ghosting: When Being Polite Isn’t Enough | by mizuka

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My experience on both sides of disappearing in modern dating

この記事は日本語でこちらで読めます。

“Ghosted” is when someone you’re supposed to be talking to — or supposed to see — just… disappears. No warning. No explanation.

After trying all kinds of dating apps, I’ve lost count of how many times this has happened to me. A guy I was texting one night didn’t reply the next day. I was supposed to have a date on Friday, but he didn’t show.

At first, it stung. But eventually, I got it: this is normal dating behavior now.

I like to think of myself as polite. I keep my promises. So when I recently had to ghost a guy, I felt awful.

I met him on one of those paid apps, the “serious” ones. He was… really nice. Kind. Just kind. And he texted constantly. When he got to work, at lunch, after work, what he had for dinner, what he did after dinner. Every single day. And always about what he ate.

I’m a big texter myself, so I didn’t mind at first. But it got… old. Uncomfortable. Maybe we could be friends, but dating? Not happening. He barely asked about me.

So I stopped replying. It took him three days, but eventually, he got the hint.

And here I am — guilty. But honestly, what could I have said? “Sorry, we’re not a match, so I won’t return your texts from tomorrow”? Polite, yes. Realistic? Not really.

So how do you tell someone you’re not interested without feeling like a monster?

Now that I’m on the ghosting side, I finally understand what it feels like to be on the receiving end.

A little food for thought… in the spirit of Halloween.

💬 If this story resonated with you, feel free to leave a comment, share it, or give it a clap. I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Original written by mizuka and chatGPT

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