Flower of Flavor (Part 1): One Year After Graduation | by flowerinthewindoww | Oct, 2025

I always thought I was doing everything right during my college years, that I was perfectly on “Track”. Everything seemed so simple, so I just figured life after graduation would be the same.

I mean, why not? I already had experience as a job seeker. On top of that, continuing my education wasn’t a big deal either, since I was already familiar with the field. I felt I was quite capable in either of my career choices, landing a job in research or product regulation, as long as it was in my home province, or pursuing a master’s degree in the same field as my bachelor’s.

But the reality hit me hard. It’s completely different, and almost nothing has gone the way I planned.

I started applying everywhere, for jobs I was passionate about and even for ones I knew weren’t right for me, but it’s been nothing but radio silence. A whole month has passed without a single positive reply.

As if that weren’t enough, I’m completely lost about my master’s degree plans. I’m terrified that going back to school would just be me running away from unemployment. Because of my situation, I need it to be a strategic career move, not just a hiding place. The pressure from both sides is really getting to me.

It leaves me feeling confused, constantly asking myself what’s wrong with me. Why does it seem easier for others to advance their careers than for me? Why am I not getting the same opportunities?

And that feeling just sinks deeper when it hits me that I’m only at the starting line, while people my age are already miles ahead. It makes me question everything. Have my choices been wrong all along? Or maybe I just haven’t been trying hard enough?

Little did I know that what felt like a difficult period of unemployment was actually a blessing in disguise, a priceless gift of time with my family and friends, a luxury that is now hard to come by.

Eventually, fortune smiled on me, and I finally landed my first job. The beginning was a bit of a struggle — I made a lot of rookie mistakes, cried a couple of times feeling like a total failure, and wanted to quit. But in the end, I pushed through. Plus, the work environment was great, it was close enough to home for me to visit once a month, and the salary was enough for my needs. But the truth was, it wasn’t the career I had envisioned, and the work was physically exhausting, making it a struggle to focus on anything else after hours. Still, I got to a point where I thought… this could be my first and last job. I was pretty complacent.

Then, these nagging thoughts started to creep in, sweeping me away in a wave of doubt. What was next for me? Was in this really the career I wanted for myself? Was it okay to be complacent, or did it mean giving up on the dreams I used to have?

I managed to push those feelings down, until an opportunity I never thought possible suddenly appeared. It was a chance that, I soon realized, came with so many dilemmas and demanded significant sacrifices.

So, I landed a job as a civil servant in a field I’m actually pretty interested in. It seems like a great chance for me to learn a lot and get a step closer to my dream. But, of course, there’s a catch. The job is off-island, where I won’t know a single soul (no family, no friends). I’d be dealing with a totally different environment, and things like transportation and facilities are pretty limited. On top of that, I still have no idea what my specific role will be, and the pay will definitely be different from what I’m used to.

I have no idea where I found the courage to go, but I’m sure there’s another part of me that would have been perfectly happy if I hadn’t taken the opportunity and simply stayed put. I believe, it was really the support from my family, friends, and lecturers that made me brave enough to take this chance. And just like that, I’ve already been in this place for almost four months.

Honestly, I still have my doubts about whether this is the right path. But this past year since graduating has taught me so much. I learned that things not going according to plan isn’t always bad. That waiting, failing over and over, or tearing up the map you made for yourself isn’t the end of the story — it could be the beginning of an adventure waiting to happen. I also hold fast to the belief that ease will always find me and that I am constantly surrounded by goodness, and for that reason, I will continue to push forward.