Ever felt so lost and alone? So unlovable? | by ADW | Sep, 2025

Ever felt so lost and alone? So unlovable?

Well, I have — not just for a short period or after a breakup, but for most of my life. Yes, there are people in my life who love me, like my family, but sometimes it still doesn’t feel like love. They’re family — they have to love me, right?

When I was little, I didn’t feel loved. I felt more lost, more full of anguish than anything else. My biological father didn’t want me, and my mom often made me feel like I was a burden. That’s why I say “biological” and not “real” father — because being a real parent isn’t about biology. It’s about being there. About caring. About love.

Thankfully, I do have a father — two, actually. I’ll talk about the first one now.

There’s an amazing man in my life — I won’t say his name — but he’s my dad. He’s loved me and cared for me since I was born. He’s the one who’s been there for me, the one I thank God for every single day.

And then there’s my mother. Or, as I started calling her a while ago, “my lady.” I stopped calling her “mother” because at one point, I didn’t think she deserved the title. I didn’t think she loved me. I felt like I didn’t matter to her. We’ve clashed a lot. But looking back now, I realize she does deserve that title. Even if I didn’t feel it back then — and even if I still struggle with it sometimes — I know deep down that my Lady loves me more than anything. And I love her too.

So why am I writing this?

Honestly, I wasn’t sure at first. But now I know.

It’s my birthday today.

And if you’re anything like me, you probably hate birthdays. I know I do. Most of mine have been filled with disappointment, tears, sadness — with just a splash of joy, but not much.

This one’s a big one — my last year as a teenager.

And it’s made me realize something:

I feel alone.

I feel lonely.

Even if that’s not the truth, it’s what I believe right now.

I only got birthday texts from my family today. No friends. And yeah, I have people in my phone who know my birthday. I know theirs too. I make sure to text them no matter what. Some of them even have my location — and I have theirs — but I guess that doesn’t make us friends.

I’ve realized that I’ve been clinging too tightly to people. Trying to fill that void. Trying to find the love I didn’t feel growing up. But instead, I keep running into more pain. More sadness.

And if you’re still reading this, I want to tell you something important:

You are not unloved.

There’s a man in heaven named Jesus who loves you more than you can imagine. He died on a cross for you. That love? It’s deeper and stronger than anything this world can offer.

And you — yes, you — should love yourself too. Look at yourself. You deserve love. You deserve peace. Even if no one else shows it, you have the love of the One who matters most.

Everything else — any love from people — is just a bonus.

So count yourself blessed. Because you are.

Even if you feel like no one else loves you, remember:

Jesus does

And that means you already have the greatest gift of all.

by the way he’s the second father I was talking about. He’s not just mine he’s yours too and he’ll heal you and fill up all the voids.