Dear Trichotillomania, I’m Done Hiding | by PRARTHANA RAVISHANKAR | Jul, 2025

For 13 years, I’ve carried you like a secret shadow.

You showed up quietly, uninvited – tug by tug, strand by strand – until you became part of my every day. You’ve followed me from childhood to adulthood, whispering in my ears during my loneliest nights and loudest silences. You sat with me in classrooms. You stayed with me through heartbreaks. You stood between me and the mirror. And all this time, I let you convince me to stay quiet.

But not anymore.

My name is Prarthana, and this is me, saying it out loud:

I have Trichotillomania and I’m done hiding.

For those who don’t know – Trichotillomania is a condition that causes people like me to pull out their own hair. It’s not a “bad habit.” It’s not a phase. It’s a mental health disorder, and for the longest time, I didn’t even know what to call it. All I knew was that something inside me was constantly urging me to pull. And I couldn’t stop.

I’ve pulled my hair in classrooms, in washrooms, under blankets, behind locked doors, in front of the mirror, after fights, during silence, before exams, after heartbreaks – everywhere life happened, so did Trichotillomania.

And because people around me didn’t understand it, I learned to become a master of disguise. Hats, hairstyles, Headshave, excuses, laughter. I wore masks every single day just to pass as “normal.”

But here’s what I want to say —

• I’m tired of pretending.
• I’m tired of hiding my pain behind hair ties and headbands.
• I’m tired of feeling ashamed for something I never chose.

And I know I’m not the only one.

In India, mental health is still spoken of in whispers. Trichotillomania? It’s rarely even named. But we exist – in silence, in shame, in hiding. Not anymore.

This is my step forward – into light, into truth, into healing…….

Yes, I may never fully know why this started – maybe it was childhood pressure, maybe it was emotional confusion, maybe it was loneliness, maybe something else. But now? I choose to accept it, talk about it, and live with it without fear.

From today, my life is an open book.

And if you’re someone like me, still stuck in the dark – I want you to know:

You don’t have to hide anymore either.

This is not a goodbye to Trichotillomania – not yet. I still struggle. But this is a goodbye to silence.

This is a love letter to honesty.

This is the beginning of something new.

So, dear Trichotillomania…

I’m done hiding.