A Pen in the Midst of a Noisy World | by Muhammad Alfan | Aug, 2025

That morning, the cold air wrapped around my body, making me want nothing more than to relax and read a manga. The manga in question was Magic Book to Start From Zero. It tells the story of a young witch named Zero who had long secluded herself in a cave to hide from the threats of the outside world. One day, she ventures out to see the sky and begins her journey. The story is exciting, full of comedy, with a touch of drama that makes it all come to life.

But all of that was shattered when the neighbor started blasting loud music. For someone who values privacy and quiet, this was unbearable. I couldn’t immerse myself in the world of the story, and my activities were all disrupted. But what could I do? I was just a child — powerless, simply playing around.

The noise came from a relative’s wedding celebration. In Indonesia, loud music like that is common during such events. Blasting “dangdut” music is seen as an expression of joy and a form of communal celebration, especially in neighborhoods where life is lived together. However, due to the lack of awareness about noise pollution and the importance of private space, this form of expression often ends up clashing with others’ sense of peace.

The wedding lasted all day.
Even though I was invited and got my share of food, it didn’t make me happy.
Tomorrow is Monday — school awaits once more.
The day we return to that same old routine: study, play, sleep, and repeat… for the next five days.

Monday morning arrived.
It was cold. My mood hadn’t recovered since that event, and I had the urge to pour my thoughts deeply into my personal notebook.
But I couldn’t ignore the reality that today was a school day.
Before long, my father approached me, telling me to hurry and get ready.
I had just started writing — why did it have to be like this?
Please… just give me a little quiet time for myself.

When I arrived at school, I felt incredibly frustrated.
Why does the world keep pushing me like this? Why can’t I do what I want peacefully?
I was so upset. I couldn’t stay calm amidst the noisy classroom chatter about today’s substitute for the Monday ceremony — a trash-picking activity.

Before I knew it, I slammed my pen onto the desk, shattering it into pieces.
The whole class went silent, confused.
My hands were trembling, my breath heavy. I couldn’t believe I did that.
I regretted it.
I threw the broken pen away… and left.

Before the “trash-picking event” even began, I chose to lock myself in the toilet.
It felt peaceful. It felt good to finally breathe in quiet.
Sitting there, lost in thought, imagining that future wife again —
Maybe we talked about many things that day.

After that, I left the restroom to line up for the trash-picking event. Then I just sat silently in front of the bulletin board, chatting a bit with my friend. I didn’t participate.
During class hours, I even stole a little time to nap — until the end of the school day, when my emotions had finally calmed down enough to carry on.
But it didn’t last long. I still had to go through this dull routine for the next few days — or even months.

So, am I really this emotional?