29/08 — The “thunderstorm” and extravaganza nails | by tmiPrincess | Aug, 2025
I’ve had 4 different ideas on my drafts for days now (i’m so dramatic it’s been 2 days ffs) and I had some free time in my hands now to sit down, take a deep breath (a drag of the cigarette) and focus on unpacking the meaning behind being a narcissit or why have I been feeling more like my youngest self recently. Instead tho I feel more like rambling here so welcome to a new entry of my journal. YAY !
Yep. Sorry you’re not getting anything meaningful here. My brain is not in the mood. I’m all over the place. In a fun way of course. I’ve been laughing at myself all morning. Maybe having had 5 coffees in the last 4 hours is fuelling the delirium to its max but there is no one stopping me (sadly).
I woke up today on my couch cause the bed is unusable right now. When me and my boyfriend assembled it last weekend we noticed pretty soon that I had forgotten to buy the bed base. Brilliant. But he arranged a quick fix for that and used some of the wooden boards from the old bed. Yesterday tho I picked up the actual bed base that I ordered, so when I got home I got rid of the fix he had made. Before placing the base tho I want to switch the direction my bed is facing right now. And in order to do that I have to completely lift the bed, vertical (not on its side no, VERTICAL) because otherwise it doesn’t fit. I tried. Trust me I did. And after almost losing four fingers and a foot I gave up. The way that hurt my macho ego… I’m not even gonna talk about it. The thing is I now have to wait for my boyfriend to come and help me lift the stupid bed and then I’ll be able to put the base and matress on. That is why I woke up on the couch eventho there was no alcohol involved (sadly).
Five minutes, literally five minutes, after waking up my heart starting going rave style. It was pum pum, mts mts mts. Great ! ALSO. It’s party party weekend on my town. AWESOME ! I’ve been dreading this weekend for weeks now. Listen, I love me a good party weekend yes ? I’m not boring (it’s the substances guys there is no other reason). But I don’t enjoy it here. Yes it is my hometown but I haven’t lived here since 2019. I don’t have friends basically that is what I’m saying. I have 2 friends and I usually go out with one of them and his group of other masculines. I think they are great, truly they are amazing people, but I feel like I need to be babysitted the entire night. I can’t be left alone cause, well, I’d be left alone. It’s awkward whenever someone comes to say hi to them and I stand there like “… *crickets*”. I can do it for a night. It’s okay. BUT THREE ? There is no vodka-redbull strong enough to carry me through that (sadly).
ALSO FUCK YOU my boyfriend is coming and I want to spend time with him. Sue me I’m in love. Okay maybe I should let you know that me and him live quite far away. It’s a 2 hour drive so we only get to see eachother on weekends. And the Princess (me) doesn’t have her driver’s liscence (YET, i see you judging) so it takes me 6 hours on train. Why don’t you go party party with him you ask ? Cause he’s shy and feels uncomfortable going out outside of his comfort zone (his hometown, with his friends). So my plan is to stay home all weekend with him and go out on Sunday because I do feel like there is an underlaying obligation to go out at least once (sadly).
Ideally no one would go out. You know ? Like. I don’t feel FOMO, I’m just mad for not wanting to go. I get frustrated knowing that everyone is outside having a good time and I’m home having a good time. Does it make sense ? STAY INSIDE SO THAT I DON’T FEEL LIKE A LOSER FOR ENJOYING TIME ALONE ! But noooo, god forbid you guys spend a weekend sober (i drink at home tf am i talking about) and not socializing (you see, that i do not do).
Anyways I had told my mom that I would go with her today morning to see the start of the town festival. It’s fucking satanic. They do this thing they call “the thunderstorm”. Already up to a bad start. They put firecrackers, that do nothing but loud ass noise, throughout the whole main townsquare and lit it up at 12:00 pm. I only have one question, if I may. Mhm. Why ? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT ? To make matters worse, my mom is psychotic and likes to stand very close to it to feel the body tremble because of the deafening sound. I HAVE AUTISTIC TRAITS I DON’T LIKE IT. MOM TAKE ME HOME I’M SCARED FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.
She calls me this morning and I tell her that I’m not really in the mood to go cause I didn’t need firecrackers to get my body shaking this morning, anxiety was already doing a fantastic job at that. And she goes “Aww I was excited about going together but it’s fine if you don’t feel like it”. Woman. What games are you playing ? I don’t have the answer but I know you are cheating. Fucking great ! I jumped in the shower after hanging up cause, of course I did. I also thought to myself that a Princess (i hate myself so much for this Princess bs) would not stay rotting at home, so I just had to go (sadly).
I’ll say it wasn’t that bad. My mom was literally crying of excitement when the “thunderstorm” ended and I was crying of fear beacuse, again, noise. I showed her some press-on nails that I’ve been looking into to add some extravaganza to my character and she talked about her plans of moving to her hometown when she retires. There was a lot of people on the street tho I did not appreciate that. She offered to invite me to a beer but beer gives me a headache so I had to pass (sadly).
Now I’m home again (duh i’m writing this shit) and I’ll wait for my boyfriend to be here tonight. I might write a bit more if I get inspired. I actualy got mad as fuck yesterday so I might complain for a bit here. Last thing, while looking for the extravaganza nails I discovered fake tatoos. I discovered them shut up. Now, this is some dangerous shit. Does my phone know that I have mental breakdowns literally every month ? WHY DO YOU PUT ME ON FAKE TATOOS IMMA BE BROKE. BROKER IF ANYTHING. I loooove protecting myself from the outside world by tatoos and jewelery and dark clothes. You see the picture. I’M NOT EMO THO I SWEAR TO GOD I’M NOT.
Anyways I’m making a mess. I’m gonna go.
Bye.
